Author's Note

The idea for this book came to me when I realized that there is an abundance of literature on the market with advice on how to stop smoking, but only very few titles that deal with the actual maintenance of a quit.  During the period after physical withdrawal, when the mental battle begins, is when ex-smokers will need the most help in order to persevere.  A support group provides exactly the ongoing encouragement you need in order to stay quit.  An online group does this 24 hours a day in the privacy of your own home or office!  What could be more convenient?

The support group I belong to at QuitSmokingSupport.com on the Internet provided me with the ideas and materials needed to create this book.  A special thank you goes to Blair Price for creating his support page and the bulletin board that serves as the forum for the group.  Much of what you'll find within these pages represents the actual interaction between group members as we support each other in the fight against the addiction. 

More than 60 group members from around the world contributed to this book.  Please remember this if you come across an idea or belief that you disagree with.  We all have different methods we use to maintain our quit so that we may one day attain freedom from the addiction.  It is my hope that you will find yours in our support group, so that you can one day enjoy that freedom as well.

Peace!

Michael

Fight the good fight!

Dedication

To my friend and mentor

in my fight against the addiction,

F.O. “Bud” Ellis

July 3, 1932 - August 23, 1998

Ride in peace, my friend

  

It is with my deepest gratitude that I wish to thank the following people, for without them, neither this book nor the support group that saved my life would be in existence.

Annie, Ben, Benita, Benjamin, BJ, Blair, Bonnie, Bren, Brenda, Brooke, Carol, Cindy, D.J., David, Debbie, Dee, Eileen, Elizabeth, Ernie, Eve, Freddy, Gene, Heather, Heather Dawn, Hez, James, Jan, Jay, Jen, Joanne, Jonie, Joyce, JW, Karen, Kate, Kathy, Kelly, Lea, Linda, Lisa, Lisa W, Lorielle, Lynn, Mark, Michelle, Mike, Moneca, Nancy, Pat, Patrick, Paul, Pen, Rachelle, Renee, Rob, Rose, Simone, Steve, Sue, Terrie, Tom and Wayne.

Your support, friendship and love will never be forgotten…

Chapter 1 - Online Support Groups – Compassion on the Internet

            Hi.  My name is Michael and I’m an addict.  I'm also a husband, father and retailer, but in the confines of this book it is important for you to know right up front that I am an addict, just like you…

I smoked cigarettes for 26 years.  At the rate of at least 20 cigarettes per day I can confidently estimate that I’ve consumed over 200,000 cigarettes in my lifetime.  Laid end to end, those cigarettes would span a distance of more than ten miles.

Although I have not smoked since September 12, 1997, I still consider myself an addict.  That belief comes from experience.  I have stopped smoking on several other occasions, for months at a time, using various methods, only to eventually be consumed by the addiction once again.

Quitting smoking is easy.  Most smokers have quit so many times it’s hard to keep track.  More often than not we find an excuse to go back to the clutches of this addiction.  At first we hate ourselves for giving in, but we quickly resign to once again being a smoker, helplessly feeding the addiction.  On average it takes seven serious attempts to finally achieve freedom from smoking, and even then there is no guarantee that the addiction won’t raise its evil head in one of our weaker moments.

Until recently the only method of quitting available to smokers was Cold-Turkey.  That title in and of itself portrays the unpleasantness associated with this method.  The mental anguish and pain of sudden physical withdrawal tends to make the ex-smoker feel like a dead bird.  The Cold Turkey method is nonetheless a viable and workable option, especially when medical or financial constraints come into play.

Today we have quitting aids available to us that can drastically reduce the severity of withdrawal symptoms.  Nicotine patches or gum, anti-depressants, inhalers and even hypnosis are all designed to help us overcome the physical addiction to nicotine.  These aids are valuable tools and have helped many, many smokers overcome their chemical dependency.  They mostly fall short, however, when it comes to the maintenance aspect of staying smoke-free. 

The physical addiction to nicotine can be overcome in one to two weeks.  After that, our bodies are free from the chemical and we do not physically need to smoke any longer.  It is during this period, however, that our cravings seem to get worse rather than easier.  At this time we begin to experience mental withdrawal from our addiction, and that is when the real fight begins.

Giving up smoking represents a major life change.  Cigarettes accompany almost every activity of the smoker’s day.  Over time the addict incorporates smoking to be an integral part of driving, walking, meals, yard work, telephone conversations, love making and more.  By taking away the cigarette, we experience a serious sense of loss in almost everything we do.  The feelings and emotions that surface are akin to those experienced with the loss of a dear friend or a close relative.  Anger, frustration, despair and depression are very common amongst ex-smokers.  If not dealt with carefully and effectively, these feelings can easily cause the addict to pick up.

I was in my third month of fighting my addiction when I realized that I needed more than a strong will if I was to survive this battle.  Support given by friends and family had lessened by this time because the novelty of my quit had worn off for them, yet my need for help and support was becoming more apparent each day.  The nearest Nicotine Anonymous meeting was an hour away and would not comfortably fit my schedule on a daily basis.  Their web page, however, led me to the increasingly popular world of online support.

Ex-smokers who have access to the Internet no longer have to fight the good fight on their own.  Help and support is there for the asking, 24 hours a day, and it’s free as well!  There are chat rooms for ex-smokers where you can find support face-to-face, as well as e-mail support groups where one e-mail is routed through a server to every member of the group.  My personal favorite, however, is the bulletin board.  In this format messages and subsequent replies are posted to a board or web page and remain there for several days, allowing the ex-smoker to read and reply to posts at his/her own leisure.  Given the fact that the Internet is a global institution, this form of support is generally not limited by time of day or one’s individual schedule.  Support, comfort and reassurance in the form of a written reply is usually only minutes away once a call for help is posted.

Compassion is the key to success in online support groups.  It is the fellow addict who understands best what you’re going through, and as a member of the group you will soon learn why it is important to accept the help and support that is offered freely.  Time and time again new quitters are amazed at the outpouring of help and support by total strangers. 

The mechanics of the support group are cyclical in nature.  After some early hesitant inquiries, the new member quickly realizes that these people are serious about helping and accepts help without encumbrance.  It doesn’t take long for the new member to feel comfortable enough to open up and share his own personal experience.  It is at this point when the support group provides the most benefit to the ex-smoker.  Offering a hand to a fellow quitter has a healing quality that is experienced by both parties involved.  It is through acts of kindness, by helping each other, that we truly help ourselves.

Online support is somewhat of a paradox in today’s world.  The Internet is vast in scope, often carrying a rather impersonal stigma perpetuated by the anonymity available to anyone surfing it.  It is exactly this anonymity, this safety net that makes it possible for addicts to ask for the help they might otherwise reject.  Newly created identities can be adopted to mask the often-perceived weakness addicts experience when asking for help.  Once the ice is broken though, the actual name (or nickname) used in the group is of little significance.  What matters is the exchange of compassion and support between total strangers who share the common goal of controlling this powerful addiction. 

Support groups as a whole are the essence of humanity.  Complete strangers supporting each other… Pure acts of kindness… The unselfish offering of a helping hand… This is what being human is all about.  Online support groups take it even further in that they overcome the traditionally impersonal reputation of the Personal Computer by adding warmth and compassion to the Internet.

Why not stop by one of the groups right now?  I guarantee you won’t regret it!  (URL's for popular smoking cessation websites can be found in the Resources section of this book.)

Chapter 2 - Ramblings of an Addict

          The mind of an addict who is actively feeding an addiction is an extremely complex entity that can be baffling at times.  Reality often becomes so distorted by the need that it almost borders on insanity.  We need only to look at the fundamental paradox of addiction to see the reality in that statement.  When we set aside our junkie mentality, we see full well that our addiction is slowly killing us, yet we continue to feed the beast on a daily basis.

            Becoming an ex-smoker brings a whole new way of thinking to the addict mind.  Many of our thought processes now revolve around new beginnings, emerging feelings and emotions as well as realizations regarding who and what we really are.  As we progress in our quest for freedom, each of us slowly builds a solid belief system that serves as our foundation for gaining control over our addictive personality.  Depending on the individual, this belief system can be based on anything from spirituality to simple stubbornness.

Many ex-smokers will follow the 12-step program, which was originated by Alcoholics Anonymous.  Nicotine Anonymous uses a slightly modified version, but essentially both programs involve letting go of your Earthly misgivings and turning your fate as an addict over to a Higher Power.  Other addicts, me included, choose to look at the addiction through what can be termed as a reality focus.  This line of thinking teaches us to look at our behavior patterns by stepping back, taking an objective look at them, analyzing them and then learning from our actions and the consequences that follow.

            Regardless of how the foundation is built, the end result in the development of an ex-smoker is the same.  After the investment of months of time and energy our originally tentative aspirations eventually evolve into very strong convictions.  These convictions become so ingrained, in fact, that they are almost prophetically shared with the world.  Often this sharing of experience and knowledge seems overbearing to the uninitiated and the person offering to help is viewed as one of those ex-smoker types.  Nothing could be further from the truth. 

            The ex-smoker who has been able to control his addiction for several months finally realizes that it can be done, that actual freedom from smoking is an attainable goal.  A strong sense of urgency is born of this realization and striving to share with others who are struggling becomes an almost uncontrollable desire.  This sharing is what a support group thrives on, people with more time in the group coaching those who are just starting out, holding their hands as they take their first tentative steps toward freedom.

            The urgency to share knowledge and experience often leads to what is lovingly referred to as a rambling.  Mostly written on the spur of the moment, without an outline or editing or re-writes, these ramblings come from the soul.  They are pure, untamed emotion that goes right from the heart to the keyboard.  Their purpose is twofold.  Not only do these ramblings give other group members an insight into the mindset of someone who is further along in the fight; they also serve to strengthen the writer’s resolve as well. 

            The following four of my numerous ramblings were composed and posted to the support group during the first year of my quit.  They have been instrumental in the development of my life as an ex-smoker.

The Reality of my Addiction

  

We all know that smoking is not only unhealthy, but also deadly.  Considering that we kill ourselves just a little bit more with every single puff, it’s hard to understand, especially for the non-smoker, how we can continue to light up day after day after day.  It’s only human nature for non-smokers to feel a form of outrage when they see loved ones killing themselves.  Can we really fault them for nagging us to quit?   I was a smoker for 26 years and that is all I ever heard... It’s bad for you, you're going to die, why do you smoke, why don't you quit etc…etc…etc…

Once we do finally quit smoking and come to realize and deal with the stupidity of our actions, it’s only natural to look for a scapegoat.  Enter…the Cigarette Manufacturers…  In my opinion, many ex-smokers tend to lay too much blame on the cigarette manufacturers - those big bad companies who tricked us and MADE US SMOKE. Yeah right... Ok, so information was kept secret and for years we were told smoking is ok... The companies SHOULD take some responsibility for making an addictive drug so readily available, but did any of the manufacturers ever hold a gun to our heads and force us to smoke?  I don’t quite see it that way.

As long as I can remember, cigarette smoking has been considered unhealthy, something that causes cancer. Did I stop? No, of course not. Now just think about that for a minute... For 26 YEARS I knew that I was doing something to kill myself. At an average of a pack a day I smoked close to 200,000 cigarettes in my lifetime. That's just insanity that I can't see blaming anyone but myself for.

What I'm getting at is this: The addiction is mine. I know I have an addictive personality. I almost became a practicing alcoholic, but thank God I realized what was happening to me while helping my sister through rehab and stopped. If I play cards or go to the track, I usually can't stop until the wallet is empty. I am an addict. I have surrendered myself to that fact and have accepted my addiction for what it is, an addiction. Nothing more, nothing less. It is mine and nobody else’s.

It is not my dad's fault that I wanted to copy him as a teenager. It is not my friends' fault because they exerted peer pressure for me to be cool. It is not the cigarette manufacturer's fault for making cigarettes available for sale.  It is my fault for continuing to smoke even after knowing it would kill me. I quit a thousand times mostly for reasons that were stupid and mostly lasted for hours, maybe a couple days. I had several serious quits that lasted up to seven months and then picked up on a perfectly normal day for no good reason. Having an addictive personality just plain sucks. But if you have it you're stuck with it.

So… you learn to live with it.

If you want to stay smoke free you don't smoke. Simple. 

You don't smoke no matter what.

-          If the kids give you a hard time you don't smoke.

-          If you have a fight with your spouse you don't smoke.

-          If your boss is an asshole you don't smoke.

-          If another driver gives you the finger you don't smoke.

-          If a loved one dies you don't smoke.

We have all been in situations similar to the ones above and they will tend to cause us to say I 'need' a cigarette. Bullshit! We don't need a cigarette. That's junkie talk. We don't smoke - no matter what.

-          And if we get depressed because we can't have just one, so what? It will pass.

-          And if we feel like we're going out of our freaking minds, so what? It will pass.

-          And if we're sitting in a corner crying uncontrollably for reasons we don't know or understand, so what? It will pass.

-          And if we get so mad we want to rip somebody's face off, so what? It will pass.

Folks, I have been sometimes been labeled as 'extreme' for my views, and if that's what people want to think of me that's perfectly fine. My message though is this:

The addiction is ours and no one else’s. Only we have the power to stay smoke-free.  It really doesn't matter WHY we smoked, does it? What matters is that we stop and stay stopped. The only way to do that is by following these words of wisdom from Yoda in StarWars (of all people):

"Do or do not...there is no try.”

Makes sense to me, and remember, NO MATTER WHAT!

Peace!

Michael

Fight the good fight!

(Four months, one week & four days smoke-free)

Time Line of a Quit - The First Year

Fighting our addiction really sucks, doesn’t it? The fact that you quit though, thereby undertaking one of the hardest things known to man/woman, shows that you believe life to be more important than death. Otherwise you’d still be smoking...

Quitting is hell, no doubt about it. Nobody ever said that it would be easy, losing a life long friend and all. It’s ok to go through the grieving process, but you have to look at it for what it truly is. You didn’t really lose a friend; you began a battle with an enemy. The only way you can win is if you refuse to feed your addiction every day for the rest of your life. We are addicts and will always be addicts - we just choose to NOT feed our addiction.

...And it DOES get easier. The time frame is different for all, but there are some fairly general milestones you can pretty much count on.

1.      During the first few days, you have a great resolve and you’re determined to beat your addiction no matter what.

2.      After a week or so, you’re over the physical addiction and you feel great.

3.      About a week or so later reality sets in and many people panic. “OH MY GOD - what will I do for the rest of my life without smokes?” This is the hell part where all you can do is ride it out, preferably with the help of fellow ex-smokers, because non-smokers just don’t understand.

4.      The dreaded three-month mark - classic time for depression to set in. Nobody knows why, but it happens to many of us. Again turn to friends here in the group for support.

5.      The six-month mark - feelings of freedom begin to emerge. You start to feel really good about being smoke-free and truly enjoy being an ex-smoker. Here is where you need to be really careful though and remember that you are still an addict. I myself quit once for seven months and picked up on a perfectly normal day for no apparent reason other than to enjoy just one.

6.      One year - that was a major turning point for me.  Once I reached that mark I could honestly say I had ZERO desire to ever smoke again. Sure I still think about it from time to time, and I have one pet time when I wish I still could.... For me it’s after I finish mowing the lawn.... Go figure!  The point is it is merely a thought now and nowhere near a craving. Nonetheless I still have to tell myself that it is an addict thought. I remain smoke-free because I fight my addiction every day. I never forget that I am an addict, and on a daily basis I choose to not smoke.

You too can do the same, REALLY you can!  It’s hard and it’s hell and maybe it sucks big-time right now for you, but cliche as it may sound...

IT DOES GET BETTER!

My Ideas about Rewards for Quitting

 REWARD # 1

When was the last time you were able to REALLY smell a flower?  As an ex-smoker you'll be able to smell all the wonderful things nature has to offer.

REWARD # 2

Wouldn't it be great to do stuff without getting winded?  As soon as 72 hours after quitting your bronchial tubes relax and you lung capacity increases. Between 2 weeks and 3 months it will increase as much as 30%.

REWARD # 3

Your sex life is bound to improve, because your partner won't feel like kissing involves licking a dirty ashtray - trust me on this one... Back to lung capacity - an orgasm won't feel like it's gonna kill you….

REWARD # 4

One of my personal favorites... You will eventually stop coughing up crap that looks like it came out of an unflushed toilet...  If that's not good enough to be a reward, this gwap can be used as a deterrent as well.  Every time you cough up a nice black wad, spit it into a jar and save it.  If you get the insane idea that you need to reward yourself with a smoke for not smoking a while, take a nice long drink from the jar - might want to keep a scissors handy though… The stuff tends to be a bit gooey…

REWARD # 5

You won't get emphysema.  If you're anything like me, emphysema is just another word for just another disease.  That's what I used to think until I read "Anatomy of a Day with Emphysema" by my friend Bud Ellis.  See a tribute to Bud on my website: http://Smoking-Cessation.net.  Trust me, life with emphysema sucks big time, and you should do whatever it takes to avoid it.

REWARD # 6

After quitting, you actually LIVE! No I don't mean you'll live longer - that goes without saying.  For one thing you will gain more time each day.  At just one pack (not smoked) per day and five minutes per cigarette, you gain an extra HOUR & 40 MINUTES by not smoking.  You won't be chained to thoughts of smoking; you can concentrate on living!  Family, friends, nature, hobbies... Just about everything will become more pure, real and vivid when it's no longer shadowed by the act of smoking.

Family Support… Or Not

 The arrival of Quit Day is a momentous occasion, not only for the smoker, but for his/her non-smoking circle of friends and family as well.  While the smoker usually awaits this day with a varying degree of anxiety, non-smoking spouses and children lean more toward excitement and happiness.  This change in your life strongly affects them as well.  From this day forth they won’t have to put up with something they loathe.  No more kissing someone who tastes like an ashtray, no more stench in the house or the car, no more burn holes in clothing or upholstery - of course they’re thrilled.  More often than not, they will do whatever they can to support your quit.

The first days and weeks are filled with concern as well as joy for you, the ex-smoker.  The passage of time not smoking is tracked in days, sometimes even hours or minutes; one day, one week, two weeks, etc. are often celebrated as if you had won the Nobel prize.  Your non-smoking family becomes your cheerleading squad that fills you with pride for your accomplishment and propels you to make it just one more day…  They will usually understand that you get crabby and angry and they generally put up with a lot of crap as you go through withdrawal.  It is very important to have your family’s support early on, and the more involved they are, the better your chances are for success.

At some point after the one-month anniversary has been celebrated, you will most likely see a change in family support.  Their enthusiasm for your quit can fizzle to the point where you may tend to wonder if they even care any more.  When I stopped smoking, that change started in the third month of my quit and came to a head when nobody remembered my three-month anniversary.  I couldn’t believe that the people who only weeks before celebrated me as their hero would forget to honor me for this big milestone.  Talk about a roller-coaster ride of feelings… Anger, despair, loneliness, doubt and more all came to surface during that time.

There I was, in the throes of fighting my addiction and to my family it was already over and done with, a closed book, and a seemingly forgotten memory of the past.  Fortunately, I turned to several online support groups and quickly found that other ex-smokers were experiencing a similar loss of enthusiasm by family members.  By comparing notes, we were able to determine that the most distinct loss of interest is found in families where the spouse of the addict is a non-smoker.  This apparent phenomenon led to a search for an explanation, because a behavioral pattern that transcends race, religion and socioeconomic backgrounds and affects a quit so strongly needed to be understood, so that newer ex-smokers joining the group could effectively cope with its arrival.

            I came to the conclusion that we cannot and actually must not expect our non-smoker relatives to be continually supportive.  Seeing as though they do not have the addictive personality that we have, there is just no way they can possibly understand what we are experiencing.  To them, the addiction is over once we physically stop smoking.  They do not and cannot comprehend the battle that we fight every day to control the addiction and keep from picking up.  They just don’t know.  Once we, as addicts, understand that the ebbing of their enthusiasm after one or two months is brought on by an inability to understand rather than a lack of interest, the importance of support given by fellow ex-smokers becomes all the more apparent.

            Only the addict can fully appreciate, understand and help another addict. We know what it means to go through the lunacy of physical withdrawal.  We know what it means to crave, to need that cigarette at 2:00 in the morning.  We know what it means to desperately want just one.  We know what it means to still be fighting after months of not smoking.  We know - they don’t - plain and simple.  Whether you join a Nicotine Anonymous group in your local area or an online support group, the best support you can possibly find will always come from a fellow ex-smoker.

********

I will never be a non-smoker.

I will always be an ex-smoker.

I am a puff away from a pack a day.

If I decide to smoke again,

It will be my choice, but this quit is for me.

This is my year, and I am worth it.

Karen - January 1997

Chapter 3 - Tools of the Trade

         When it comes to quitting smoking, methodology has changed dramatically in the last decade of the twentieth century.  In the recent past the only method known to us was Cold-Turkey, where the smoker just stops smoking from one day to the next.  We now have a myriad of tools at our disposal to aid us in the Big Quit.  Nicotine gum and patches, pills, inhalers, self-hypnosis tapes and videos, and even electronic programs are all readily available to make quitting smoking as easy as possible. 

            Ask any manufacturer about their product and they will surely tell you that their method is the one that works best.  Truth is though that all smokers are different, and what works beautifully for one may be a total bomb for another.  The only way to find out what works for you is to make a choice and run with it.  We may pick the right one on our first try, but more often than not, the smoker will end up trying several of the aids until he/she is finally free from the clutches of cigarettes.

            Each aid in its own right has its merits as well as shortcomings.  To what degree the smoker is influenced by these attributes will determine how well or badly the product works.  Side effects, allergies, schedules, forgetfulness and even lack of trust in the product itself can all adversely affect the quit if not properly addressed.  The support group can provide the quitter with information from the trenches, so to speak.  Group members are not driven by sales and profits, but rather by a need to help a fellow ex-smoker in need of realistic information based on personal experience.  Answers, therefore, come from the heart rather than from a textbook or manual.  What is shared is true-to-life experience rather than a mandated warning label.

I've set my quit date - any tips for prep?

Posted by Pat on January 24 at 10:59:13

Well, this Valentine's day I'm giving my heart the ultimate gift - a smoke free future (I hope). I got Zyban and patches so I'm ready to kick butt, but I'm not sure I'm mentally preparing myself well. I'm trying to think like a non-smoker - however that's supposed to be. Any tips/hints?

Thanks in advance!

Pat

Posted by Michael on January 24 at 14:04:04

In reply to: Set my quit date - any tips for prep? Posted by Pat on January 24 at 10:59:13

Hi Pat,

I'm a firm believer in preparing for a quit. I think the preparations you make before your actual quit date serve to strengthen your resolve to fight the addiction. Preparations help create a more comfortable mindset about quitting and can alleviate some of the fears that crop up as Quit Day approaches.

My favorite tool to get prepared is the "I commit to quit" Stop-Smoking Contract. Basically you set a quit date, usually three to four weeks in advance, sign the contract and have it witnessed by your children, grandchildren or other VIP's in your life. I had mine signed by my two sons who were nine and six at the time. I put that contract on the refrigerator for me and everyone else to see, as a constant reminder of the promise I had made to my children and myself. As a matter of fact I've come to treasure it so much that it still hangs there today.

As a general rule, I think you should try to get rid of anything and everything in your home that relates to smoking. Ashtrays, lighters, matches, even my beloved Zippo lighter all ended up in the trash during my preparation period.  Save one book of matches though. You don't want to learn the hard way like we did that you actually NEED a match to light candles on a birthday cake...

Take a weekend and really clean out your car. Get all the brown crap off the inside of the windshield, maybe even shampoo the upholstery. Make it smell so nice that you'll feel guilty lighting up in it again.

Make an appointment to get your teeth cleaned either the day of or the day before your quit. Clean smelling and clean tasting is what you're going to be once Quit Day arrives, and a shiny clean mouth will make you feel good about yourself.

Last but not least I highly recommend building a network of support. Tell people ahead of time so they know what to expect from you while you're going through withdrawal. Announce your date on the Board so group members will look out for you when the day arrives.  We'll be looking for you on Valentine's Day, Pat!

Peace!

Michael

Fight the good fight!

********

Patch question

Posted by Kathy on January 11 at 08:57:55

I have a huge question... Has anyone felt that the withdrawals are greatly reduced as your body adjusts to the patch? This is the beginning of day six for me.  I had a rough weekend, but by the Grace of God, I made it.  I would love to hear how the patch worked for you. Please let me know.  I'm beginning day six and I'm back to work, which is a safer environment, since it is a smoke-free building...

Kathy

Posted by Michael on January 11 at 11:12:03

In reply to: Patch question Posted by Kathy on January 11 at 08:57:55

Hi Kathy,

That's exactly the way the patch is supposed to work. It minimizes true PHYSICAL withdrawal so you can focus on and fight the MENTAL withdrawal. I too used the patch and that was the biggest thing I liked about it after learning from previous quits that the mental side of the addiction is so much stronger than the actual physical addiction to the chemical nicotine.

Relatively speaking it's quite easy to overcome the physical part of the addiction. The mind-games we addicts play with ourselves are a different story. So just continue to let the patch do its job and focus on the mental battle and you'll do just fine.  Remember… Never mistake a craving for a physical need, because you're still getting the nicotine through the patch. See that crave for what it is, Kathy, nothing but a shell game your mind is playing with you. Fight it, and win your life back!

Peace!

Michael

Fight the good fight!

********

Quitting with nicotine gum

Posted by Bren on March 03 at 12:42:48

Hi,

I will be quitting my cigs tomorrow with Nicorette Gum and was wondering if anybody had some advice or tips. Is it true you can do damage if you chew the gum too hard? Any help would be appreciated.

Bren

Posted by JW on March 03 at 14:09:17

In reply to: Quitting with nicotine gum Posted by Bren on March 03 at 12:42:48

I tried gum several times over a few years. If you chew it too fast, it can give you too much nicotine, or so I am told. It is a powerful drug, remember! I found the gum to be quite addictive, and have several friends who got hooked on that stuff, too.  So, please, just be careful and follow the manufacturer's directions to the letter! They include list making techniques and other behavior modification tips for the psychological part of this addiction. FOLLOW THEM! I don't have any statistics on it, but I am sure your chance of successfully staying smoke-free goes way up when you do the ENTIRE PROGRAM, behavior modification and all, not just the drug therapy part.

There are a few things I recommend to everyone wanting a smoke-free life…

One: Remember that there are NO miracle drugs or cures! NONE! Zyban helps the depression but it does not CURE addiction. You do that yourself! That is what is so great about this. You are going to accomplish this yourself. I used the patch as well as the PROGRAM.  The patch helped the first week, and after that, it was just there. It’s the entire PROGRAM that gets me through now, without bouts of depression, fits of anger, or loss of sleep. Some people DO need some help with the side effects of smoking cessation, and then the drug therapies that are available, including Zyban and St. John’s Wort, are certainly a reasonable, temporary mechanism for help! If I needed them, I would use them to stay smoke free... I just haven't found the need at all.... And a LOT of people don't find that need... So I suggest trying without it first, but you are not required to be a hero to stop smoking!

Two: Stopping smoking is NOT easy. The constant craving goes away quickly. The physical stuff goes away. The metabolism rates eventually equalize again. But the cravings for this addiction can come at any time, from any location, and after months or years of not smoking, and can be VERY powerful. DON'T GET ALARMED WHEN THIS HAPPENS! It is perfectly normal for all of us addicts. Start working now to learn how to accept those cravings and let them pass without lighting up - they will every time.

Three: Read “Junkie Thinking” by Patricia Allison (Part of her book: Hooked, But Not Helpless) and study it to learn the type of thinking this is. Then learn how to avoid it. This thinking is certainly the justification for most relapses..."I was so stressed"...or "My mother-in-law was this or that"... or anything else that sounds like an excuse to smoke... If it sounds like an excuse, IT IS! Don't give yourself justification to continue with a filthy, nasty, stinky habit that you truly want to quit.

Four: Read the Serenity Prayer and the 12-step program.  Study it and learn what it means. This is the single most important thing you can do, I believe! You lose the anger and frustration of addiction and begin to control your own life again!

            Five: SMILE. Keep all your thoughts positive and optimistic! This will be well worth your effort!

JW

********

My first patch!

Posted by Hez on January 21 at 20:06:18

Dear Friends,

Is it a good idea to put on your very first patch before going to sleep or should I wait for the morning to monitor any reactions? Are there adverse reactions?  Oh, and where do you find are the best places to put it?

Thanks, Hez

Posted by Michael on January 21 at 20:28:07

In reply to: My first patch! Posted by Hez on January 21 at 20:06:18

Hi Hez,

There are different schools of thought on patch use. Some people wear it for 24 hours/day, others like me preferred to wear it only during waking hours. My reasoning for that was that I never used to smoke while I was sleeping, so why get nicotine transdermally while asleep? A possible side effect of 24-hour wear is nightmares. We've heard some real doozies here… LOL.  If you think you're going to need it, though, I would say give it a try. Worst that will happen is you wake up with bad dreams, and then you stop nighttime wear.  Either way, trust the patch and let it do its job of giving you the nicotine transdermally so you can focus on relearning life without a cigarette in your hand.

As far as where and when to apply the patch, anywhere on your body that has very little hair is recommended. I always did mine after my shower in the morning, so it became part of my daily routine. I pretty much stuck to the biceps, alternating arms daily. Also make sure that the area is completely dry and not oily, otherwise the patch may very well fall off mid-day.

Peace!

Michael

Fight the good fight!

********

Does Zyban work?

Posted by Karen on March 10 at 00:26:24

I had my last cigarette today at 10:00. Should I get Zyban tomorrow?  I’ve seen all the commercials and was wondering if you think it might work for me, too.

Posted by Bonnie on March 10 at 00:44:46

In reply to: Does Zyban work? Posted by Karen on March 10 at 00:26:24

            You actually should have gotten the Zyban, or its generic, Wellbutrin, about seven to ten days ago. *S*  It takes at least a week to build the levels up in your system. You can make it easier on yourself during that time if you choose places to eliminate smoking. For example in my second week I banned smoking in my car. Then when the quit date came around I was prepared even more mentally. 

Give your doc a call.  At this point he may suggest the patch, gum or the inhaler, but all of those are nicotine replacement therapies.  Without those replacements, nicotine will be out of your body in three or four days after you quit!  I've found the BEST treatment is the friendship and caring here on this Board. So whatever you decide to do or NOT do, use this support group to make you feel better about your quit.  *S* Make frequent stops here... We celebrate ALL accomplishments great and small.  *S* If you haven’t smoked for an hour, YELL YAY! And move forward.  *S* Good luck!

Posted by Tommyboy on March 10 at 00:53:11

In reply to: Does Zyban work? Posted by Karen on March 10 at 00:26:24

Hi Karen,

Yes, it does work - for almost everybody.  Some find out that they cannot use it, but most can, and most of those who can, and are intent on quitting, are using either Zyban or Wellbutrin, either of which you have to get a prescription for. 

I am an addict to cigarettes, who has been practicing for 40 years. I have tried several times in the past (all miserable failures). THIS time I am using Wellbutrin (It’s the same drug as Zyban and my insurance covers it), and I used the Nicoderm CQ for the prescribed course of ten weeks.  With the additional help from my Faith, my family, and the people who post regularly here I have been able to stay quit for three months, one week, 6 hours, 8 minutes and 19 seconds.

Wishing you success in quitting, no matter how you do it.  Don't worry too much about the short-term discomfort that most people experience, because the end result DOES make it all WORTHWHILE!

********

Zyban/Side Effects

Posted by Cindy on March 22 at 20:50:10

I am interested in discussing the side effects of Zyban with others who have used it. Please let me know what side effects you have experienced.

Thanks, Cindy

Posted by Heather Dawn on March 22 at 21:06:14

In reply to: Zyban/Side Effects Posted by Cindy on March 22 at 20:50:10

Hi Cindy,

I had several effects with Zyban but over time they have all gone away. I had terrible hives and had to take Benadryl for two weeks each time I took a Zyban. I heard others speak of these hives and although you need to be very careful and see a doctor, it seems they do go away. I did not sleep for nine days - literally - I was pumped and ready for a marathon at any given time - totally hyper. I started taking Gravol (motion sickness pill) on the ninth day  before bed and that allowed me to sleep. I only had to take the Gravol for about a week and then all the sleeplessness was gone. Now I sleep just fine. I also had a bit of nausea. Other than that I can't think of anything.

If there is anything we can help you with just let us know. I wish you best of luck in your quit. Oh I just remembered - there was a period around the third week of my quit until about six weeks where I referred to my mind as being zybanized. I had great difficulty concentrating. In fact, many of my attempts at humor that you've seen on this Board came out of that Zyban haze. Take care.

Posted by Tommyboy on March 22 at 21:29:23

In reply to: Zyban/Side Effects Posted by Cindy on March 22 at 20:50:10

Hi Cindy,

I have been using Wellbutrin (same thing as Zyban, except most prescription plans still cover Wellbutrin) since November 17, which is probably not a record for this or any other quit smoking forum, but should qualify my answers. Everyone is a little different in how they react to the medication, ranging from no side effects whatsoever to being totally incompatible and unable to use it.  Most, I would say, fall somewhere in between. I experienced slight dizziness, disorientation, and inability to concentrate for a couple of weeks at the beginning, also a bit of trouble with sleep disorders.  I cannot accurately judge that one, though, as I am a police officer and the rotating shifts that I work are a sleep disorder producer that stands alone.  Somewhere around the one-month mark I also developed a case of the stupids, sometimes also referred to as being zybanized.  Others probably can help there, as I am also hampered by age induced memory lapses…LOL. I do know that I am completely sane, as my wee friends who wear the neat white jackets keep telling me that I am.  (…Just kidding…)

I have heard there are no miracle cures, but I say there are, as I am an addict who has practiced his addiction for nearly forty years.  I have attempted to quit several times with little success, but with the help I get from my Faith, Wellbutrin, NicodermCQ, and the tremendous support from these wonderful people here I have been quit for:

Three months, two weeks, six days, 2 hours, 43 minutes and 44 seconds.

3363 cigarettes not smoked, saving $504.51.

Life saved: 1 week, 4 days, 16 hours, 15 minutes.

As you probably have observed, the one other side effect is the tendency to RAMBLE.  Hahahaha… One last thing I need to add… Always remember that the alternative to quitting smoking is DEATH!

Posted by Lisa W. on March 22 at 23:30:22

In reply to: Zyban/Side Effects Posted by Cindy on March 22 at 20:50:10

1.      Difficulty sleeping for the first two weeks - so I decided on my own to just take one pill a day (I'm not recommending this).

2.      Some loss of appetite, but I fought hard and made sure I ate twice as much as normal anyway - hehehe.

3.      Lack of focus/concentration - read the same line of the same novel every night before going to bed for two weeks… I think.

4.      Could handle emotional situations with logic - I didn't feel stress, sadness, happiness, etc. as much.

5.      Delayed reaction/gaps - demonstrated by staring at the computer screen or my socks - would realize later, I had done nothing for a few minutes.

6.      Reacting quickly was hard - made driving a bit scary for the first week.

7.      Alcohol felt about 10x as potent - watch out!

8.      Cravings didn't seem as intense.

9.      I giggled at things that others didn't find funny (actually, this has been true for most of my life - hehehe - see?)

All of this sounds a bit scary when listed, but I honestly feel Zyban is a wonder drug. It took the edge off of my cravings and allowed me to make logical/sensible choices when cravings DID strike. Most of these symptoms were the basis for a great deal of laughter - and that helped me cope with this whole quitting smoking thing in a BIG WAY! I really think Zyban is terrific.

Lisa

********

This is getting much easier...

Posted by Carol on March 06 at 14:39:11

Hi Guys!

On day five - almost day six. I never in a million years thought I could go this long. I was a pack to two pack a day smoker.  And I really truly thought for all these years it would be soooo much harder. Now don't get me wrong those first three days were hell but still not as bad as I had imagined for all those years. Went to meet some friends at the bar last night and everyone was smoking and I really didn’t even want one.  I felt sorry for them if anything.

Then this one chick pissed me off. I told her I had quit and she asked if I was using anything and I told her that I was using the inhaler and in front of all these people she has the nerve to say, “How can you use that thing? It looks like a tampon applicator!” ...and made a big deal about it.  But I was the bigger person because you know what? She had quit the day after me and guess who had one of those nasty cancer sticks hanging out of her mouth... I’ll take something that only LOOKS like a tampon applicator over one of those any day! Also I would really like to recommend the inhaler to people.  It does really work!  I haven’t even used it yet today and it's already almost 3:00pm and I haven’t even been quit for a week yet.  Thanks for letting me vent…

Carol

Posted by Heather Dawn on March 06 at 15:49:24

In reply to: This is getting much easier... Posted by Carol on March 06 at 14:39:11

You’re doing very well Carol!  It sounds to me like she was jealous because you were making it and she wasn't. You follow your quit, keep using the inhaler even if it does look a little funny and show her how it’s done!

Posted by PAUL-CO on March 06 at 15:28:29

In reply to: This is getting much easier... Posted by Carol on March 06 at 14:39:11

Yes, Carol, and every day it gets easier - but whatever you do, don't let your guard down.  Glad to hear you're so positive about the inhaler - I'd thought about it at first but decided that the pill would work better for me.  Looking forward to seeing you on the Board often.

********

Please share your Zyban experiences...

Posted by Lynn on January 18 at 17:39:27

Hi everyone,

            Well, after cold turkey for seven days, I went back to the butts. I called my doctor today and got the Zyban. I just picked it up and took my first pill. I had set my quit date for this Monday, but after reading about it, it says to wait a week - not sure what to do there. So... what can I expect from this drug? Will I feel differently or is it subtle? Do cravings return when I stop taking it? Any words of wisdom will be appreciated. Thanks so much and wish me luck!

Lynn

For me Zyban/Wellburtin was the magic bullet.

Posted by Paul on January 18 at 17:53:02 PM

In reply to: Please share your Zyban experiences… Posted by Lynn on January 18 at 17:39:27

Hi Lynn,

            I was on it for 2-1/2 months while my brain was on vacation on Barbados...
If you are working or have children at home and you do start to feel spacey (some do) get together with you doctor and find out if you can cut down to one a day - a friend of mine did and it worked out fine. I think James (Bubba) did the same – you may want to talk to him.

Paul

My experience with Zyban and HELL WEEK!

Posted by James on January 18 at 22:45:36

In reply to: Please share your Zyban experiences… Posted by Lynn on January 18 at 17:39:27

Hi Lynn,

            I just this minute read your post. I have been quit since Monday, November 26, 2001. I smoked for 30 years and about 1 1/2 packs of cigarettes a day.  I was diagnosed with a heart condition last April and my cardiologist said I had three factors against me: 1) genes 2) cholesterol 3) smoking.

            Well, not a darn thing could be done about the genes, but the cholesterol was a different story. My count was 240 and within six months I got it down to 132 (medication helped too)! Then in November I told my doctor I was ready to quit smoking and that's when he gave me the prescription for Zyban (Wellbutrin is the same and I should have asked him for that because my insurance would have paid for most of it). The Zyban was $119 for the first month supply, but I guess I would have spent that on cigarettes anyway.

            During my first week I actually kept a kind of diary. I later learned that this is known as "HELL WEEK" and I think when you read this you'll know why. I hope I never have to go through a week like that ever again!

November 13 (Tuesday) - Saw cardiologist and got prescription for Zyban and was told I might want to use the nicotine gum along with it.

November 14 (Wednesday) - Began taking Zyban - 1 tablet per day for the first three days - felt fine - no side effects - continued to smoke - quit date set for November 26 - a Monday when I will be at work and my mind will be kept occupied.

November 17 (Saturday) - Began taking two Zyban tablets per day - one when I got up in the morning and the other around 5:00PM.

November 19 (Monday) - My smoking has increased!! Felt "spaced out"! Hyper - unmotivated - dry mouth!

November 23 (Friday) - Went to pharmacy to get Nicotine Gum in preparation of quit day - Pharmacist said I was "defeating" the purpose of Zyban by using the nicotine gum... I argued with him for a while and then came to the conclusion I would hurt the man severely if I didn't leave... Paid my bill and told him to "Call my doctor if you have a problem with this because I've got no more to say to you!" Told him my doctor’s name and left pissed off!

November 24 (Saturday) - Tried to quit without the nicotine gum. I lasted two hours and started smoking - smoked eight cigs all day (not bad after having smoked two packs the day before). They tasted "nasty" and didn't do much for me - no nicotine "rush".

November 25 (Sunday) Same as Saturday but smoked 13 cigarettes - emailed my cousins Joan and Shirley asking for their support beginning tomorrow on my quit day... Smoked my last cig around 9:30pm... Don't even care to sit up and finish the pack - nasty taste!

November 26, 2001 (Monday) - QUIT DAY! Got up at 6:00AM - had two cups of coffee - cut gum into quarter pieces (a whole piece is 4mg) 1 mg. for each quarter piece. Chewed small piece and felt better - had cravings but they weren’t REAL strong - got to work - had a bowl of oatmeal in break room - chewed gum - took DEEP breaths as a friend advised - day went by slow - work was slow so I spent some time on the internet looking up info on Zyban and other cessation tools - went home for lunch as I normally do - CRAVINGS STRONG! - calmed down once I got back to work - home at 5:00PM - last pack of cigs on dining room table - picked up cigarettes - got a shovel - called neighbors over as witnesses - dug six inch hole in back yard - buried pack and lighter - said "that's it, I'll NEVER smoke again!" - mild cravings through the late afternoon - slept good through the night.

DAY 2 - Tuesday - Got up 6:00AM - woke up feeling good - had cup of coffee - used gum - cravings were mild and went away fast - bit stronger when I went home for lunch - snacked on two pound bag of M & Ms!! - had teeth cleaned from 3:30 - 4:15PM and felt relaxed - zero cravings!! - went back to work - felt hyper but good - cravings mild after eating supper - slept good but had vivid dreams.

DAY 3 - Wednesday - Got up 6:00AM - FELT GREAT - calm and relaxed all morning (whew, getting worried, calm before the storm?) Morning cough has gone away - after lunch began to have cravings that occurred frequently and lasted for longer periods of time through the afternoon. Mouth dry and had STRONG CRAVINGS between 5:00 & 10:00PM - slept good - dreams very vivid.

DAY 4 - Thursday - Got up 6:00AM - had coffee/gum - cravings were minor - not feeling too good - got to work - co-worker happy, talking up a storm - I'm IRRITABLE - quiet - she asks, "What is wrong with you?" I responded quickly, "YOU TALK TO MUCH!" She didn't speak to me for the rest of the day! Another co-worker came in to ask me a question, I responded with, "That's my answer and if you've got a problem with that, then go to HELL!" The co-worker quietly said, with his head held down, "I just asked." - I feel like I am ready to BLOW UP! VERY NERVOUS - shaking from my head to my feet - GOD what is going on with me! Don't know who to talk to - no one will understand what I'm going through - they'll think I'm nuts! 11:20AM - I'm started to feel sleepy but a bit more relaxed - went home for lunch - mild cravings but continued feeling sleepy and relaxed, took short nap - got back to work and was busy most of afternoon - apologized to my co-workers - minor cravings - continued feeling sleepy - mouth dry - not nervous or angry anymore.

DAY 5 - Friday - FOUND BLAIRSVILLE (Support group at QuitSmokingSupport.com) ON THE INTERNET - wow, what great people and they understand what I'm feeling!! Had minor cravings off and on through the day - taste and smell greatly improved - slept good.

DAY 6 - Saturday - Minor cravings off and on through the day - not feeling very "alert" - kind of mental numbness - no cravings in late afternoon - slept good.

DAY 7 - Sunday - Minor cravings - felt depressed - talked to my family in Georgia - felt better afterwards - used less nicotine gum – 7:00PM - powerful cravings - actually screamed aloud "I WILL NOT SMOKE" - sat at computer posting to Blairsville - God I wish I was DEAD!!! 7:45PM - whew, cravings finally tapered off - 10:00PM - depression had slipped back on me at some time or other but I felt better once I had gone to bed- slept good.

DAY 8 - Monday - Got up 6:00AM - Only minor cravings and easily controlled - still slight feeling of depression.

            My notes ended after that because I became more involved with Blairsville. I did have a feeling of being slightly "spaced out" the first few weeks I was taking the Zyban, but then again it could also have been from the stress of quitting smoking. I did go from taking two pills per day to one per day but I don't recall the date. I felt less "spaced", but found that I became depressed more easily than before. During the first few weeks the Zyban did cause dry mouth and some itching. Had it not been for the Zyban I don't think I would have gotten as far as I have. Again Lynn, I can't stress enough that everyone is different but some things are consistent - one is the HELL we all have to endure that first week. I hope all this made sense, Lynn – take care!

A better, stronger person since November 26

JamesE

********

Advice about booze…

Posted by Patrick on March 19 at 04:16:17

I've been quit for 10 days now, but during that time I have to confess to having had two cheeky cigarettes. I'm quite pleased with what I've achieved, but not pleased enough. Seeing as I had my cheeky ones after having been drinking I have decided to give up alcohol until I can trust myself not to smoke AT ALL. Any advice out there about how long this takes? I'm gonna miss a glass of wine with dinner, or a pint with my friends. I don't want to end up ruining my social life especially since now is when I need my friends most.

Thanks, Patrick

Posted by Michael on March 19 at 06:24:07

In reply to: Advice about booze... Posted by Patrick on March 19 at 04:16:17

Hi Patrick,

Welcome to the group! When I started my last quit, I swore off all alcohol for almost four months. Coming from an alcoholic family background, I'm not much of a drinker anyway, but I know that booze was probably my strongest trigger. So I decided to NOT drink, just as I chose to NOT smoke. You can make that same choice. You don't really need that stimulant to have a good time... Tell your friends why you're drinking soda when you go out - because booze may jeopardize your quit. If they're friends they'll applaud your efforts. Be proud and stand up for your choice. Peers can often be idiots and may josh you about not drinking - well guess what? You're the one saving your life, not them.

There's an added bonus to not drinking as well... You get to watch others get sloshed while you remain sober - often a rather comical scene! And the next day you get to describe foolish details about their behavior! LOL Consider cutting out booze for a while as just another tool in your quitting arsenal, Patrick! You never know, you might enjoy it...

Peace!

Michael

Fight the good fight!

********

Watch Out – Venting

Posted by Sue on January 20 at 16:04:51

            I guess I’m still baffled as to why people decide to use the tools (patches, gum, Zyban) to help them quit and then decide that the people who invented them don't know what they are talking about and so don't use them as instructed. I can understand if there is a problem - for example, I am allergic to the patch - some people get too much nicotine from the patch so they have to cut it down - Zyban makes some people sick, etc. – Those reasons makes sense - but if it doesn't bother a person, why don't they use it as intended and give themselves the best shot at quitting they can? It's not that they can't afford it - look at our quit meters. How much were we spending on cigarettes? When did any of us tell ourselves we couldn't buy those because we couldn't afford them?

            I'm using Wellbutrin. I don't have any bad effects from it now, but at first I had dry mouth and some sleep problems. That was for the first week or maybe a little more, but I tried to wait through that to see if those symptoms went away as mild side effects often do. I do know that when I forget my second dose, the next day the cravings are a lot stronger. So I guess that's where all this is coming from - I just know how much better I feel when I do it as I am supposed to, according to the manufacturer’s instructions!

            Maybe there is just a side to this I don't see - so please… someone help me clear my thoughts. Thanks.

Your thoughts are VERY clear!

Posted by JamesE on January 20 at 16:21:07

In reply to Watch Out – Venting Posted by Sue on January 20 at 16:04:51

            I agree with you all the way, Sue. I followed the instructions to the letter up until about two weeks ago when I began to take just one tablet a day, which made a big difference. By the time I did that, though, I had gotten through my first five weeks. Had I not taken the Zyban, plus Paul and Tom's advise to continue and not stop too early in my quit, I would not be sitting here typing this post, but would instead be out on my porch smoking and coughing my fool head off!

            Like you, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to quit smoking and stay quit, even if I did have to endure the spaced out feeling, dry mouth and itching (and boy did I itch!). Seeing eight weeks tomorrow has made it worth it, and soon I can safely begin tapering off the Zyban and nicotine gum.

Hi Sue - this is something I've been preaching for years…

Posted by Michael on January 20 at 16:45:24

In reply to Watch Out – Venting Posted by Sue on January 20 at 16:04:51

            I totally agree with you. Smoking Cessation aids were designed with a process in mind. Unfortunately, this process is often foiled by the addict mind that gets overly confident at the first sign of success. This false sense of security subsequently leads to failure and the ever popular question: "What happened?"

            Do me a favor, Sue, and share your thoughts on this more frequently in the group, preferably on a weekly basis. Maybe together we can get the message to sink in that smoking cessation aids are a process, not an event!

Have a great smoke-free Sunday, SueJ

Peace!

Michael

Fight the Good Fight!

********

Think you can or think you cannot…

Either way you're right.

                                                                                   

Henry Ford