Hi. My name is Michael and I’m an addict. I'm also a husband, father and retailer, but
in the confines of this book it is important for you to know right up front
that I am an addict, just like you…
I smoked
cigarettes for 26 years. At the rate of
at least 20 cigarettes per day I can confidently estimate that I’ve consumed
over 200,000 cigarettes in my lifetime.
Laid end to end, those cigarettes would span a distance of more than ten
miles.
Although I have
not smoked since September
12, 1997 , I still consider myself an addict. That belief comes from experience. I have stopped smoking on several other
occasions, for months at a time, using various methods, only to eventually be
consumed by the addiction once again.
Quitting smoking
is easy. Most smokers have quit so many
times it’s hard to keep track. More
often than not we find an excuse to go back to the clutches of this addiction. At first we hate ourselves for giving in, but
we quickly resign to once again being a smoker, helplessly feeding the
addiction. On average it takes seven
serious attempts to finally achieve freedom from smoking, and even then there
is no guarantee that the addiction won’t raise its evil head in one of our
weaker moments.
Until recently
the only method of quitting available to smokers was Cold-Turkey. That title in and of itself portrays the
unpleasantness associated with this method.
The mental anguish and pain of sudden physical withdrawal tends to make
the ex-smoker feel like a dead bird. The
Cold Turkey method is nonetheless a viable and workable option, especially when
medical or financial constraints come into play.
Today we have
quitting aids available to us that can drastically reduce the severity of
withdrawal symptoms. Nicotine patches or
gum, anti-depressants, inhalers and even hypnosis are all designed to help us
overcome the physical addiction to nicotine.
These aids are valuable tools and have helped many, many smokers
overcome their chemical dependency. They
mostly fall short, however, when it comes to the maintenance aspect of staying
smoke-free.
The physical
addiction to nicotine can be overcome in one to two weeks. After that, our bodies are free from the
chemical and we do not physically need
to smoke any longer. It is during this
period, however, that our cravings seem to get worse rather than easier. At this time we begin to experience mental
withdrawal from our addiction, and that is when the real fight begins.
Giving up
smoking represents a major life change.
Cigarettes accompany almost every activity of the smoker’s day. Over time the addict incorporates smoking to
be an integral part of driving, walking, meals, yard work, telephone
conversations, love making and more. By
taking away the cigarette, we experience a serious sense of loss in almost
everything we do. The feelings and
emotions that surface are akin to those experienced with the loss of a dear
friend or a close relative. Anger,
frustration, despair and depression are very common amongst ex-smokers. If not dealt with carefully and effectively,
these feelings can easily cause the addict to pick up.
I was in my
third month of fighting my addiction when I realized that I needed more than a
strong will if I was to survive this battle.
Support given by friends and family had lessened by this time because
the novelty of my quit had worn off for them, yet my need for help and support
was becoming more apparent each day. The
nearest Nicotine Anonymous meeting was an hour away and would not comfortably
fit my schedule on a daily basis. Their
web page, however, led me to the increasingly popular world of online support.
Ex-smokers who
have access to the Internet no longer have to fight the good fight on their
own. Help and support is there for the
asking, 24 hours a day, and it’s free as well!
There are chat rooms for ex-smokers where you can find support face-to-face, as well as e-mail support
groups where one e-mail is routed through a server to every member of the
group. My personal favorite, however, is
the bulletin board. In this format
messages and subsequent replies are posted to a board or web page and remain there for several days, allowing the
ex-smoker to read and reply to posts at his/her own leisure. Given the fact that the Internet is a global
institution, this form of support is generally not limited by time of day or
one’s individual schedule. Support,
comfort and reassurance in the form of a written reply is usually only minutes
away once a call for help is posted.
Compassion is
the key to success in online support groups.
It is the fellow addict who understands best what you’re going through,
and as a member of the group you will soon learn why it is important to accept
the help and support that is offered freely.
Time and time again new quitters are amazed at the outpouring of help
and support by total strangers.
The mechanics of
the support group are cyclical in nature.
After some early hesitant inquiries, the new member quickly realizes
that these people are serious about helping and accepts help without
encumbrance. It doesn’t take long for
the new member to feel comfortable enough to open up and share his own personal
experience. It is at this point when the
support group provides the most benefit to the ex-smoker. Offering a hand to a fellow quitter has a
healing quality that is experienced by both parties involved. It is through acts of kindness, by helping
each other, that we truly help ourselves.
Online support
is somewhat of a paradox in today’s world.
The Internet is vast in scope, often carrying a rather impersonal stigma
perpetuated by the anonymity available to anyone surfing it. It is exactly this anonymity, this safety net
that makes it possible for addicts to ask for the help they might otherwise
reject. Newly created identities can be
adopted to mask the often-perceived weakness addicts experience when asking for
help. Once the ice is broken though, the
actual name (or nickname) used in the group is of little significance. What matters is the exchange of compassion
and support between total strangers who share the common goal of controlling
this powerful addiction.
Support groups
as a whole are the essence of humanity.
Complete strangers supporting each other… Pure acts of kindness… The
unselfish offering of a helping hand… This is what being human is all about. Online
support groups take it even further in that they overcome the traditionally
impersonal reputation of the Personal
Computer by adding warmth and compassion to the Internet.
Why not stop by
one of the groups right now? I guarantee
you won’t regret it! (URL's for popular smoking cessation
websites can be found in the Resources section of this book.)
