How many times have you
heard yourself say, "I need a cigarette!"? I remember the phrase well, uttering it
usually after a prolonged period of not being able to smoke. Restaurants, malls, movie theaters, airplanes
and any other scenario where smoking is prohibited can cause the smoker to
crave a smoke to the point where he/she has to temporarily leave the activity
at hand in order to feed the addiction.
Being addicted
to nicotine requires the smoker to periodically replenish the level of nicotine
in order to stay comfortable, hence the need to smoke. Maintaining the level of nicotine required to
satisfy the physical addiction takes far fewer cigarettes than most smokers
consume during the course of a day. Most
of the cigarettes an addict smokes are purely habitual and feed the
psychological side of the addiction.
These cigarettes are wanted
more than they are needed.
Once you quit smoking, knowing the difference between needing and wanting can work to your advantage.
During the physical withdrawal period, which commonly lasts four to ten
days, your body craves nicotine. You
experience a need to smoke because you are depriving your system of the drug it
demands in order to function comfortably.
After you've been smoke-free for a couple of weeks, having completely
cleansed your system of the chemical you were physically addicted to, the need
for this chemical no longer exists.
The cigarettes we crave after overcoming physical
withdrawal are wanted cigarettes, not
needed ones. It is a battle of the mind we play while we
try to learn to live a life that doesn't include the feeding of an
addiction. At this point it is mostly
the act of smoking and not the chemical nicotine that we crave. This is perfectly understandable considering
that every part of our life was somehow connected with smoking cigarettes.
Recognize your cravings for what they are - nothing more
than a mind game, a desire that can be
controlled. There are many things in
our lives that we desire, but do not attain for whatever reasons. As ex-smokers we will always desire smoking
at one level or another, but by recognizing that desire for what it is we can
make a conscious decision to NOT SMOKE.
That deliberate choice, in turn, will continually prevent us from ever
feeling a true need to smoke again.
Mental Games - Ugh
Posted by Ben on February 11
at 22:08:54
Now that the
school search thing is over and I'm not too preoccupied, I'm really fighting
the urge to have just one. Yes, yes, I've read the 'Junkie Thinking'
thing, and I do identify with at least some of it. (Junkie Thinking refers to a chapter in Patricia Allison
Here's the thing
though: I tried to quit once before, and simply abandoned it after three days -
back to a pack a day immediately. Now,
I've really quit. I'm three days shy of three weeks in, and the nicotine is
totally out of my system. Sure, I'd love a smoke, but the feeling is more of a
desire and much less of a need - closer, say, to wanting a cup of hot chocolate
or, even closer, to wanting to have sex. It'd be great, but I'm not going to
die without it.
God, I almost
hate to make this argument here, but I really want to be honest with everybody.
Please don't let me convince you of this if you're struggling. Sell me on how
much the first few days suck again so I don't put myself through it. Hell, if
you're really struggling right now, don't read this at all.
Anybody left?
Here's my thinking: would one, or even a couple a week, really be that bad?
Secondarily, would it necessarily lead to re-addiction and an inevitable
increase back to pre-quit levels? From a health standpoint, I'd be willing to
bet that one or two a week wouldn't cause serious damage. My concern (and it's
a big one) is that I might not be able to stop with one or two. But why couldn't I? I mean, I don't just
drink myself into a stupor every time I drink. I don't eat myself sick whenever
I make brownies. Sure cigarettes are
addictive but I KNOW how addictive they are and would be watching myself pretty
closely.
Is it really
true - Once an addict, always an addict?
I've never been addicted to anything except cigarettes, but my theory on that
has always been that it's a great idea… Hey, never have even one and you guarantee that you won't get addicted
again. Logically, it seems that if one breaks the physical addiction, it stays
broken until and unless one re-establishes it by smoking enough - and long
enough - to get hooked on nicotine.
If the nicotine
is actually out of my body, wouldn't it be fairly easy to just not buy that
next pack right away? We tell ourselves that one more is the beginning of the
end, but is it really? Does it take any more willpower to have a couple a week
than it does to never have any?
Oh hell. Now I'm
upset. I'm nearly convincing myself, and I really started posting this just to
get it off my chest and get somebody to talk me out of it. Well, for the record, I'm not smoking tonight
or any time soon. I just need some good reasons not to take a chance on it now
that I'm not craving much. I see why week three is considered hard - it's chock
full of mental games.
If they weren't addictive
would you have to ask the question at all?
Posted by Dee K. 22:18:35
In reply to: Mental Games -
Ugh Posted by Ben on February 11 at 22:08:54
It only takes
one. For me, I know that the minute the nicotine hits my brain I would belong
to it. Why? I don't know how it works or why but that is how it is for me and
that is how it WAS for me. I have a feeling that you would very quickly be back
in the clutches of the drug if you had just one, too. That is what happens or
none of us would be here, right?
Do you want that
life? Do you want to spend all that money? You have a promising future, Ben . Why not
embrace all the good things that are happening for you now WITHOUT cigarettes
taking over? That's what they would do. If you want something once in a while,
pick something else.
You've come this far. If I can do it, you can do it.
Hang in there.
Some thoughts for you Ben
Posted by Joanne on February 11 at 22:53:00
In reply to: Mental Games -
Ugh Posted by Ben on February 11 at 22:08:54
I don’t know if
this will help, but I hear you my friend.
I talk myself into smoking, too, but like you I say, “Nope, not today...
Maybe tomorrow, but not today...” Let’s not kid ourselves. We are addicted to nicotine and in remission
when we don’t use it! The moment we use the drug, we are under its control
again...
ONE DAY AT A
TIME, that’s all we can do. I loved
smoking so much, but it’s scary to know how it causes awful diseases. It is so
important to remind yourself of that very fact. I sometimes have to go find
where I hide that thought… I hate admitting that smoking kills us. Hang in
there my friend... What else can we do? GOOD LUCK.
Posted by JW on February 11
at 23:49:49
In reply to: Mental Games -
Ugh Posted by Ben on February 11 at 22:08:54
You may have a
misconception, I think. That is that addiction to cigarettes (or other things)
is physical! I think it is mostly psychological with physical manifestations at
the beginning of the withdrawal!
This is why having
just one can be so risky. By having
one, you are giving in to a craving (psychological need) for a cigarette. You
are agreeing (deep in your self) that the addiction is stronger than you are!
You are refusing to accept something you cannot change (i.e., the desire to
smoke!). It is like sitting in your car, with it stuck in the mud, spinning
your wheels on and on. The action doesn't get your car out, but you just don't
accept that fact. So you spin your
wheels, producing fumes and noise and nothing useful.
When you don't
smoke that one, you have accepted
something you cannot change. You have
accepted that you crave a smoke, and you have used your courage to change what
you can. You let the craving pass, uncomfortable
though it may be, and you don't satisfy the craving by habitual smoking. You
may have to use various techniques to accomplish this at first, but it gets
easier and easier as time goes on. Every
once in a while, you will call on yourself, on your courage again to face and
accept that which you cannot change - and you will change that which you can.
If I smoke just
one, will I be addicted? The answer to that is… I am an addict, and therefore
will always be addicted to nicotine... So YES, I will be addicted whether I
smoke one or not! You see, the question is not whether I am an addict, or
whether I can smoke just one, it is this:
Can I accept those things I
cannot change, summon the courage to change the things I can, and know the
difference?
Answer: I don't know! But I work on that every day
and will continue to work on it for the rest of my life, because it is
important to ME. It gives me peace in my mind when I succeed. It gives me more than happiness. It gives me JOY .
Each day I pray:
God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change... the courage
to change the things I can... and the wisdom to know the difference. No, I am
not praying to Pope John
Paul 's God, or Jerry Falwell Mohammed 's... I am searching my own
mind and soul for the strength, peace and joy that comes with accepting the
things I cannot change, changing the things I can, and learning!
It is called the
Serenity Prayer for a reason. It brings
peace and order to what is otherwise chaos, as evidenced by the situations
posted on this bulletin board, every day, all day long! The events here are
perpetuated by the confusion of addiction, i.e., “I am under so much stress at
work, I HAVE to have a cigarette” or “I can have just one cigarette, it won’t
kill me or my quit”, or “This weekend I will HAVE to smoke, because there is a
big party I have to go to”, or “Not smoking has CAUSED my mind to not work well
now”, etc... The prayer allows you to pause, examine, understand, and learn
what is REALLY going on at that point in your life.
It reduces very
complex thoughts and situations to something very plain, simple and truthful.
Here, Ben , the truth is we ALL desire
to smoke and not one of us NEEDS to smoke. We can choose to recognize the
craving and NOT give in to it! Sometimes this takes the support of others, reading
your list of reasons you quit in the first place, or just plain old-fashioned
prayer! This action reinforces resolve. With or without resolve, the facts
don’t change. We wanted a cigarette. We didn’t need one. We won’t die because we didn’t smoke!
I am sure you
have heard of the KISS principle (Keep It Simple, Stupid). The Serenity Prayer
facilitates simplicity, which promotes serenity, which increases acceptance,
which advances the motive of being smoke-free! Everything else is too
complicated!
Smiling gives me resolve!
JW
Posted by Simone on February 12 at 00:12:19
In reply to: Mental Games -
Ugh Posted by Ben on February 11 at 22:08:54
Hey Ben !
Here are some
reasons why you're not allowed to start smoking again:
1. One leads to one more leads
to one more leads to one more leads to... it's not the same as drinking. You
drink too much: you can't walk, drive, speak, keep your dinner down, have sex,
or walk a straight line. You smoke too much: you may have a mildly sore throat
in the morning, but not so bad you can't light up again.
2. I don't know about you, but
I'd feel kind of stupid and disappointed if I went ahead and spent all this
time, money, energy and emotion on quitting only to backtrack and relapse. The mental anguish wouldn't be worth it. In short, I would feel like a Grade-A,
certified dumb-ass, and somewhat worthless to boot.
3. Your health, your health,
your health. You know about this already. Black lungs swamped with sticky tar,
a hacking cough, emphysema, cancer and facing death too soon.
4. You're my role model. You're
not allowed to start smoking again, because if you did you would leave the
Board, and then I would miss you. (Cue appreciative sniffling and passing of
hankies from the audience)
Nuff said?
Cheerfully and gratefully
yours,
********
4 monther...losing faith
Posted by Rachelle on February
13 at 09:51:36
Greetings All,
It has been
quite some time since my last post on this bulletin board. I’ve mostly been hanging around Blair 's Fitness Board. I wish I could say that things are
going smoothly for me, but they are not.
Newbies, I hate to post this, but remember that each person is
different, and hence their quit is an individual journey. Please don't let my
words discourage you. I would not post
if I didn't really need a boost.
Throughout my
quit (4 months 3weeks now) I have told myself that I must have faith that
things will improve, and they have in some respects. The cravings are gone for the most part. I don't wonder any more if I can make it through
the day. My problem is wondering if I can make it the rest of my life this
way. I'm 28 years old, and I don't want
to live my life like this. I'm miserable, particularly due to my weight gain
(done everything - nothing works). More than one person has commented on the
lack of happiness on my face. It’s as
though I'm a zombie walking through life; trying not to resume smoking and
trying not to eat too much. My life is
all about denial.
I know that I
should not even begin considering the conscious choice of going back to
smoking, but what can I do? I want to smile, I want to laugh, and I want to
greet the morning. Right now, though,
I'm simply losing faith...
Any advice for this
ex-smoker?
Thanks, Rachelle
Posted by Lisa W. 10:12:21
In reply to: 4
monther...losing faith Posted by Rachelle
on February 13 at 09:51:36
First of all,
congratulations on the four months! You should be very proud, as that is a
major accomplishment! My understanding is that the weight gain relates to the
change in metabolism, and it will straighten out in time, as long as we watch
what we eat and ensure we're exercising regularly. Other than that, we don't
have any control over it, and worrying and feeling badly will definitely not
help the situation. It makes me dive for
the chocolate and chips that much faster.
Also, I can't
think in terms of I will never smoke
again for the rest of my life because that is just too overwhelming and
even depressing. I would automatically
think that's an impossible task and would go to the store ASAP. The only thing
that works for me is to take it one day, week, milestone at a time and then
REWARD MYSELF for having attained that goal. As I find the cravings more
manageable, I have been able to add back in the pieces of my life I enjoyed
(socializing, etc.) without spending most of the evening TRYING NOT TO SMOKE or
worrying I might smoke. I'm finally able to enjoy other people and activities,
which in turn helps me to obsess even less on that horrible Nicodemon.
All in all, I'm
only at six weeks, so you're a remarkable hero in my eyes. I wonder if you
spend enough time acknowledging the good characteristics in yourself. Sometimes, even unconsciously, we can engage
in a lot of negative self-talk. We're not doing enough of this, or we're
horrible because of that. Once we learn to catch ourselves doing this, we can
change the thoughts around to something positive. I think you're a winner, and
if you remind yourself of why you're a winner several times a day, there's no doubt
in my mind you will start to relax, start to smile, and start to be your old
self again.
Pat yourself on
the back often, and when you find that difficult, post here, and we'll do it
for you.
Hugs to you, Lisa
Posted by Heather Dawn 10:10:36
In reply to: 4
monther...losing faith Posted by Rachelle
on February 13 at 09:51:36
I can certainly
understand why you are feeling discouraged.
One would hope that by four months this would be over, and I guess to a
certain degree it is. You say you don't have any real cravings, just a feel of
denial. Don't think in terms of the rest
of your life. Think right now I won't
smoke. Try to remember what it has taken to get to four months. You will be
even more miserable if you have to go through that again and let’s face it: If
you pick up now there will come a time when you will have to quit again.
Let’s consider
the taste of that first smoke and its effect on your pure lungs. In a word that
first puff is going to hurt and it is going to take several cigs before it
tastes even remotely acceptable. Then what? You've got a cig problem to
overcome again. You’ll feel like you've let yourself down and thrown away all
the hard work and struggle. For what? To
smoke a cig that makes you smell bad, your teeth yellow and eats up all your
money that could be spent on a fancy health spa and fitness center, a great
vacation hiking in the mountains, living life to its fullest.
You’re 28 years
old. Are you going to be an active,
happy 40-year-old or will you need oxygen?
Or maybe you won't need oxygen because you’re already dead? Your brain has for so long associated comfort
with cigs. It is going to take an equally long time for it to automatically
substitute those cigs with something new when it perceives anxiety or stress.
Also, Rachelle , if you want to be fully convinced, you need
to come smell my husband. Lord, I
married a stinky man and I didn't know it until I quit smoking, and I can't
believe I used to smell like that, too. Come on over, Rachelle, take a whiff
and you will know that your special person won't want to be close to you if you
smell like a stinky old ashtray.
You hang in
there. The weight will go. Don't throw in the battle over the illusion
of life getting better if you smoke. Make life good here and now. Don't be a
smoker with a weight problem, be an ex-smoker gaining control over the weight
she has gained while defeating a terrible, deadly addiction.
You’re in my
prayers, Hon. You can do this. Stick around the Board - it will help - and
don't be afraid to post. We all need help now and then and sometimes knowing
what lies ahead helps us to be more prepared to fight.
One month, one week, five
days, 10 hours, 13 minutes and 59 seconds. 1085 cigarettes not smoked, saving
$217.13. Life saved: 3 days, 18 hours, 25 minutes.
Posted by Freddy on February
13 at 10:15:15
In reply to: 4
monther...losing faith Posted by Rachelle
on February 13 at 09:51:36
I think that
cravings are about needing a cig.
Once the cravings go away, we really don't feel we need to have that cig anymore.
That's why, after time, we can go through the day not really worrying
about whether we can make it without one.
I also believe there is another hurdle to get over - wanting a cig. I think that, even after
four months, you still want to smoke.
You no longer get the fidgety feeling ("I have to have one!"), but
the idea of lighting up is still attractive to you. We won't quit forever until we stop wanting as well as stop needing.
For the needing there are the aids (Gum, Patch , Zyban, etc.) and this bulletin board. In a relatively short time (1-2 months), the needing stops. To overcome the wanting you will need to work things through alone. Find out why
you want to smoke. List those
reasons. Then, one by one, deflate those
reasons by using logic (the monetary and physical costs are the most logical
reasons to not want to smoke) and, what works best for me, God. I believe that
God has the ability to change the way people think, to make us, as the Bible
says, New Creatures, different from what we once were, right down to our
thinking.
Hope this helps.
Freddy
Posted by Benita on February 13 at 10:40:03
In reply to: 4 monther...losing
faith Posted by Rachelle on February
13 at 09:51:36
This is
something that only YOU can decide to do. This is the part that I have always
had trouble with in the past and have decided that it won't defeat me this
time. You need to ask yourself, “Will a
cigarette make this situation any better? Will a cigarette change anything?
Will a cigarette make me feel any better?”
The obvious answer to all of these is NO! Stress is a true bummer. I've lived it for so long that all I've ever
known is to light up when it comes my way. Now we can't do that anymore.
Try and remember
these three A's - Accept, Alter, or Avoid.
When stress pops up, ask yourself what you are going to do. Accept it? - Alter it? - Avoid it?
You can do this Rachelle and we are here for you.
Two months, three weeks, one
day, 12 hours, 12 minutes and 59 seconds. 2087 cigarettes not smoked, saving
$268.27. Life saved: 1 week, 5 hours, 55 minutes.
No stress... Absolutely no
stress.
Posted by JW on February 13
at 11:48:29
In reply to: 4
monther...losing faith Posted by Rachelle
on February 13 at 09:51:36
According to the
people I know that have been smoke-free for a long time (over five years), the
craving NEVER goes away completely. If
you use food to replace cigarettes, you are just swapping one addiction for
another. Some people get by doing that, and it is fine. It sounds like you
aren't fine with that replacement therapy! It sounds like you are unhappy with
your life being one of denial.
I UNDERSTAND
that! Check this angle… You didn't quit anything; you started to live
healthier. So, you aren't denying yourself a cigarette, you are GIVING yourself
a healthier life. You aren't denying yourself a snack; you are GIVING yourself
a happier life. Why would you give yourself these things? Because you deserve
them! Simple as that! You are a great person with an addiction. That doesn't
mean you can't be GOOD to yourself!
Another way to
look at this, I guess, would be: When I smoke, I am DENYING myself the
opportunity to live a longer, happier, healthier life. When I eat too much, I
am DENYING myself a better life, too. There! Looking at it like that, DENIAL
ain't that bad! That way of thinking depresses me, though, so I avoid it as
much as possible.
There is more
than one way to look at everything. When you are feeling bad, reverse your
perception of your situation. Then look at your situation from another angle.
Find as many ways to look as you can.
Most of all, BE
GOOD TO YOURSELF! You cannot do anything to eliminate cravings. You can resist
those cravings by doing fun, happy, healthy things. And if you cave to the
craving, (food included!) forgive yourself!
Start looking for another way to create resolve for resisting! I think
someone yesterday suggested going outside and chopping a chord of wood to
reduce depression. After that, you will be too tired to be depressed!
There are lots
of things you can DO:
1. Volunteer for a civic group.
It raises your self-esteem and confidence, and keeps you busy. As with all
volunteering, you get back MUCH more than you give!
2. Go to a library and read the
Classics. Smoke-free, munch-free and you improve yourself.
3. Do whatever is fun for
you.... Sports, shopping, camping, visiting...
Make yourself happy!
Smile, life is wonderful!
JW
********
Morning...
Posted by Jay ~ on February 25
at 07:58:50
Hello!
How is everyone
doing? For some reason I am still having
difficulty! This morning was the closest
I EVER came to buying a pack! But I still didn’t. Mainly because of that whole
burning of my lungs paranoia that I seem to have now. I hope this passes soon cause I am not sure
now much longer I can last for... Please pray/hope that I have the strength to
go just one more day… I really want to quit...
1month 3weeks 3days 22:53 smoke-free, 838 cigs not
smoked, $185.62 saved, 2day 21:50
life saved
Posted by Michael on February 25 at 08:33:00
In reply to: Morning... Posted
by Jay ~ on February 25 at 07:58:50
I know it's hard
right now - almost two months for you. That's a heck of a long time to be
strong. Doubt is setting in. Reality is happening. You're life has done a 180. IT'S DAMN HARD! But look at what you've
accomplished. You've CONTROLLED your
addiction for almost TWO MONTHS! You are free from physical dependency on
nicotine - you know that. Your mental addiction is still strong, Jason , but remember that's what it is... mental! A want and no longer a need - no more than a mind game.
Okay, okay, I
know... It's a really hard mind game. Fight it on it's own level to get through
this period. Go back to setting small goals like, "Only 14 hours until I
get to go to sleep again. I can do 14 hours... Piece of cake! Tomorrow will be
better!" Then tomorrow you can focus on tomorrow and the future. Don't dwell
on the past... It's gone and you don't need it any more. Let me share with you
one of my favorite quotes:
"When one door closes
another door opens;
But we so often look so long
and so regretfully upon the closed door,
That we do not see the new
worlds which open for us"
Think about that one Jay , and look toward the New World of Freedom!
Peace!
Fight the good fight!
********
When the cravings get too bad, you could always break down, buy a pack,
and light one up. After all, the cravings have got to be worse than...
Posted by Freddy on February 16 at 19:34:27 :
The cravings have got to be
worse than...
-
Secondary bronchial infections that leave you coughing so violently
that you vomit.
-
The inability to walk more than a few feet because the lining of your
lungs has become thick, sticky, and scarred from emphysema.
-
The terribly sharp pains in your head after your lung cancer spreads to
your brain (a most common result of lung cancer), leaving you with an
inoperable tumor and the knowledge that your mind and memories will now die a
few weeks before you do.
-
Hearing the doctor tell you, "Well, there's really not much we can
do for a heart as damaged as yours."
-
Saying goodbye to your children just as they are beginning their adult
life and before your grandchildren will even remember you.
-
Trading dreams of a retirement RV for the nightmare of inhalers and
nebulizers.
-
Exchanging winters in Arizona
Yeah, the cravings have got
to be worse than these things and perhaps one hundred more inevitables that can be brought on by smoking.
But, my friend, the fact is
that the cravings aren't worse.
You can walk away from a
craving.
You can walk away from a
cigarette.
You cannot walk away from
the words, "I'm sorry, but there's nothing more we can do for you. We will
prescribe something for the pain. I hope it helps."
There is nothing we endure
in the middle of a quit that is worse than what we will endure if we continue
to smoke.
Freddy
********
Smoking is not
now, it never was,
And it never will be a solution for anything!
